"I never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it."

Nothing gets my blood boiling more than divisive arguments. All I have to do is scroll down to the comments section of an interesting article I just read online and quickly get sucked into a world of anonymous name calling, vitriol, and know-it-all rhetoric.

Though perhaps the most pervasive, it's not just on the internet, it's everywhere. From cable news and talk radio, to a couple fighting on the street. There will always be conflicting view points, but it seems like our society has hit a fever pitch when it comes to the volatility and frequency of the clash.

Maybe it's my training on a debate team, or just my personality that tends to be empathetic, but whenever there is an argument, I am that person in the comments section who either plays the devils advocate and tries to see the other side of the argument, or, I'm the one calling for both sides to just calm down and get along. I've discovered that most of this is fruitless though. Besides feeding our own egos, these kinds of discussions really don't do any good. It's a waste of time trying to change someone else's mind. They are just as convinced of their idea as you are of yours. When the need to be "right" over takes the need to communicate, all is lost. Sadly, that seems to be the way things turn nowadays.

I could never be in politics. I know many people who are smart, driven, and genuinely care about people and their country, but are completely turned off by the whole partisan game and broken system. Isn't it ironic that they might be the ones who could actually make a difference?

I read a response given by Eckart Tolle recently to a woman trying to navigate the different political viewpoints between her and her husband. In his response he quoted a Zen master, "Don't seek for the truth – just cease cherishing opinions".

He explained further that opinions, positions, perspectives, are just thoughts, and that we often take those on as an identity when they are not. It's just ego. In essence we build up a false identity consisting of all of our view points and judgments.

When someone comes along with a different opinion we feel offended. Why? because we have made that opinion our identity, so it feels like a personal attack on us. When we learn to identify with our True Identity, it is easy to exist in a world with opposing view points, because those views are no longer a threat to our identity. Imagine what we could do if people came to the table with this mentality? What problems could we solve? How many people could we help, including ourselves?

Sometimes the one with the solution is not the loudest voice in the room. Sometimes the best response is silence. Our voice is important, but it is a powerful weapon. We should learn to use it wisely and with compassion. Listening is an art. We often think we are listening, when really we hear only what we want to. It takes practice, respect, and a belief that others come to the table with the best of intentions. It takes knowing that we are not our thoughts or opinions.

My parents just celebrated their 30th Anniversary on Sunday. In a world where 50% of marriages end in divorce, it's nice to see people who are willing to stick it out for better or worse; To put aside the differences and focus on the places where they can work together. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad. Here's hoping we can all learn a thing or two.

In Memory of Japan

AP Photo/The Oregonian, Thomas Boyd


A couple of days ago, the first peice of debris from the Japanese Tsunami washed up on shore in Oregon. A 70-foot concrete dock journeyed roughly 5,000 miles across the pacific, with native Japanese starfish and other various forms of life, clinging to the wreckage. Just the journey itself must have been harrowing, not even taking into account the reason for it's departure.

Two things struck me when watching the footage of kids taking pictures and scientists scrapping off and bagging organisms.

First: The juxtaposition of wonder, excitement, curiosity, and the knowledge of the tragedy that brought it here. What a dynamic symbol of our interconnected world too, that something that happens thousands of miles away affects all of us. It's like being witness to a modern day Pompeii. A whole town, without any warning, completely decimated. Now, only a year later, the little clues and pieces become a part of history. A relic of another world.

Second: It was a reminder that we are never guaranteed tomorrow. That in the blink of an eye, everything you have can be gone. There is nothing like a natural disaster to remind us of our own mortality, and thus, our shared humanity. No science, no magic pill, can ever guarantee us more time. I expect that most of us, at least in the first world, have the idea that we will live well into our seventies at least, with grandchildren running around our feet. And isn't that a lovely picture. But tomorrow there could be a tornado, or a car accident, or even a heart attack. That's not to say that we should live in fear, as if death is lurking around every corner. But let it be a reminder to appreciate the time that we have, to make the most of it, to chose to be happy, to chose to focus on the things that matter.

And never forget to appreciate the people you love, because they are not guaranteed tomorrow either.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. For the chance to be alive, however long it may be. We are not promised quantity, but we can do something about the quality.

sugar for the soul

If you've been watching the news, especially here in the tri-state area, you know about the proposed ban on sugary drinks larger than 16 oz being sold in New York City. I understand Mayor Bloomberg's concerns. Obesity is a huge epidemic in this country, and those gigantic sodas are certainly not helping. Does the government have a right to regulate things for the greater good of the people? Should citizens be allowed to exercise their freedom of choice even to their own harm? It's a text book constitutional debate. If I were a civics teacher, it would make a perfect classroom debate topic.

I don't drink soda much, and whenever I happen to get a drink from a fast food place, I'm usually horrified at the size of my drink and that they actually have the audacity to call it a "small". The ban really would not affect me personally, I would be happy to have a 12 oz soda on the rare occassion that I consume it. Politics aside though, I think we've missed the point completely.

Obesity is a problem, but in my humble opinion, a ban on large soft drinks is not going to fix it.

People already know that sugar in large quantities can lead to obesity, increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, and any number of other conditions. We know that it's not healthy to eat fast food everyday, or to super size our drinks. We know that eating right and exercise is the key to a healthy life. There is no shortage of information out there. The problem is, that people don't make decisions based on information or even reason. They do it based on emotion. I read an interesting article a few months back on how this plays out politically. The author, who I believe was some sort of psychologist, said that people actually vote based mostly on their feelings and emotions first, and then later come up with reasons and rational that support those feelings. This is why the reasoning of one party seems completely irrational to the other, because it's actually not about reason at all. It's also why people tend to be concerned more with social issues like abortion and gay marriage than with things like the economy or jobs. Not everyone would agree with this assessment, but it raises an interesting point.

Whenever you hear about drug addicts or alcoholics, you hear the phrase, "they have to WANT to change." No amount of lecturing, pleading, or government regulation is going to do any good, unless the person decides for themselves that they have a problem and want help.

In the United States, we are addicted to instant gratification, to consumption, to the need for material wealth, the pursuit of fame. But all of that is just a way to cover up our own feelings of inadequacies. If we really believed that we were worth it, maybe we would put down that cigarette. If we believed that we were valuable, maybe we wouldn't have to chase money and fame to convince ourselves of our worth. If we believed that we deserved to be healthy and that our bodies were temples, maybe we would think twice about what we put in it.

There is an obesity epidemic. But the bigger problem is the spiritual epidemic. I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about the part in all of us that we've tried so hard to medicate away, to numb, to avoid, but that is screaming to be free. We know how to nourish our bodies, but we forgot to nourish our souls. Our pain gives us empathy. Our emotions give us passion. Our failures give us lessons. In finding a way to push out the uncomfortable or negative feelings, we miss out on the gift.

I don't have all of the answers. I can not give you a quick fix solution. There is no congressional bill, no amount of money, no scientific research, that will be able to fill in that deficit. The only way is to consistently wake up to ourselves, to peel away the layers, until we don't need those external things to make us feel good in the moment.

We need to tell ourselves and somehow be told over and over again,

You are worth it.

You are valuable.

You are loved.

No amount of sugar can match that. Let's start chasing THAT high, and see if things start to turn around, no ban necessary.