I grew up learning how to hide. I grew up hearing stories about how members of the Unification Church, the faith I was born into and raised in, were kidnapped by their families and forced to undergo abusive deprogramming tactics. I heard about how members were put in jail for prosthelytizing their faith. On a personal level, my family was asked to leave our neighborhood Christian church because we "weren't really Christians". The word "cult", would cut me open if I heard it on tv or in passing conversation, leaving me feeling exposed and ashamed.
These stories were worn like a badge of honor by most of the people who told them. As if these kinds of experiences were proof that you were doing something good. God's messengers are always misunderstood.
But as a child, I didn't want to be a prophet. I wanted to have friends. I wanted to belong. Since I grew up in a town with no other "church families" around, there was no place for that "church self" to belong in school or in my community. So I tucked that part of myself away, and only let it come out every other Sunday when we would drive an hour and a half to church, or once a year at summer camp. But that left me with the burden of then tucking away my "school" personality. They were both me. Neither was me. So in trying to "belong" I denied myself and others, the chance to really and truly know me. I don't blame myself. I simply think I learned to cope with a complex situation the best way I knew how at the time.
Now, as an adult, as a mom, I still struggle with this idea of identity and the theme of duality that seems to manifest in different ways, but with the same old feelings. There was a point in my early adult hood when things came to a tipping point, where I could no longer stand to live like a secret agent, and worked hard to stitch myself back together. I feel that same pressure now, mostly revolving around my creative life. Like things are filling up, getting ready to spill over. I think it will be a relief. But as it was before, I know it also comes with growing pains.
On we go. Wherever I go, there I am, and other such platitudes.
"Be yourself" seems like good advice, but if "yourself" is constantly changing, growing, hopefully learning, we may have to take a pause every once in awhile to figure out who exactly, that is.
Showing posts with label Unificationism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unificationism. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
The Healing Circle
This is a piece I wrote for a recent issue of UC Lifestyle Magazine. You can get yourself a copy or subscribe here!
The Healing Circle
“The
wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
― Rumi
The
florescent lights hummed in tune with the soft meditative music in
the background, as I said a silent prayer to my Native American
ancestors, both known and nameless. We sat facing each other, our
chairs lined up in a circle. It was a small group, a pastor, a young
college graduate, moms, dads, professionals, all from various
divergent paths. This was not a meeting or social gathering. We came
together that evening with the intention of having our voices heard,
and through that process, to open a gateway for healing.
I
came across the idea by chance, a random blog post about healing
circles that coincided with my own longing to address issues I was
dealing with in my own life. As I researched more and spoke with
others about creating something for the community, I was met with
such enthusiasm, that I realized there was really a collective
yearning for this kind of emotional healing. Though we all experience
pain at different times in our lives and in different ways, we are
surprisingly similar in the way we tend to deal with it. Often, our
need to "just be okay" supersedes our willingness to deal
with our pain, and so it gets buried before we've had a chance to
properly heal. We may go months or even years without looking at our
wounds, only to have them burst open at the next crisis or road block
that life sends our way.
The
healing circle, comes from the Native American tradition of "Talking
Circles", which were used by many tribes as a means of
dialoguing about difficult issues and even making major decisions.
The circle is a sacred symbol to the Native Americans. They observed
the circle present in all of nature; in the planets, the movement of
the sun and moon, and the passing of the seasons. The circle
symbolizes that no one voice is more important than another. On the
contrary, each person brings their own truth to the circle and makes
the circle complete by their presence, adding to the truth of the
whole. The circle provides a sacred and supportive space for open
communication.
In
modern times, the talking circle has been utilized as an effective
tool in twelve step programs and support groups, in anything from
diabetes to drug addiction. Circles can be geared towards a specific
group--a women’s circle or teen circle--or address a particular
concern or topic. It can be done in a church, at home, or out in
nature. Part of the beauty of the circle is that you don’t need to
be an expert. Anyone can do it. All you need is the desire and a few
basic instructions.
What
you’ll need:
A
Circle Keeper: The circle keeper is the person who leads the circle.
Their role is not to be a leader in the sense that they dominate the
discussion, but merely to facilitate the process and to make sure all
of the rules are followed.
3-12
people: it works best with a smaller group since there is more time
for each person to share. I would suggest no more than 20.
Talking
piece: the talking piece is an object of significance used to
facilitate the communication in the circle. Only the person who is
holding the talking piece may speak. The Native Americans used a
talking stick, engraved or adorned with items of spiritual
significance. For our NJ group, we used a holy candle.
The
Rules
Rules
for speaking:
Only
the person who holds the talking piece may speak.
Speak
from your own perspective, not as a representative of a larger group
or another person
Be
honest
Try
to be concise out of respect for others' sharing.
Rules
for listening:
Support
the person who is speaking
Do
not try to respond to their sharing, a smile, or nod is an acceptable
response
Listen
with sincerity and compassion
Confidentiality,
“whatever happens in the circle, stays in the circle”
It
is okay to disagree, no name calling or attacking. This is not a
debate. There is no need to come to a solution or even a consensus.
The
Process:
Pray:
for God to be present in our speaking and listening. To open our
hearts to hear God's lessons through the sharing of others, to be an
avenue for God's love in our sharing and listening. To begin a
process of healing.
Passes:
(each question is one pass around the circle, if someone does not
want to the answer question, they simply pass the talking piece to
the next person)
Examples
of possible questions:
1.
The first pass is simply to get the energy and communication flowing.
Start with something simple like sharing a positive aspect of your
day. If members of the group do not know each other, short
introductions would be appropriate.
2.
How has (specific issue) affected me?
3.
What lessons have I learned?
4.
What is left unsaid?
5.
Open discussion/Reflection (if time allows. You may decide as a group
in the beginning if you want to have an open discussion at the end,
or you may find that you don’t need it. This is up to the
discretion of the circle keeper and the other participants according
to the spirit of the room and the time.)
End
with a symbolic offering to God. For our circle, we placed the holy
candle that we had used as the talking piece, in the middle of the
circle and said a prayer to offer all of our sharing up to God.
One
thing that I have learned about healing, is that it can only happen if
we let ourselves open the wound. We must dig deep and pull out all of
the anger and resentment, the grief and the sorrow. We must
acknowledge it and give it a name. We must not be afraid to feel it,
because once we do, then we can start to do something about it. When
we release the pain it opens up a space for healing, and eventually,
peace.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Aboji
Many of you have heard the news, that the founder of my church, the Rev. Sun Myung Moon, passed away on September 3rd at 93 years old (Korea time).
Followers had been offering prayers and conditions for his health, ever since he entered the hospital almost two weeks ago. Many prayed for a miracle, but it is God's will be done, not ours.
When I first got the news, I lit a candle and said a short prayer for a safe journey. The whole day my facebook page was full of pictures and stories, statements of gratitude and love. I didn't have much time to reflect though while attending to the kids and getting ready for the start of the school week today. Later in the day I got a call from a reporter and was interviewed for the local paper. I got a little choked up at one point when I was telling her some of the stories and memories I had of seeing Father, but it still didn't really sink in. I was in an intilectual place of, "well we knew he was sick, he lived a long life, it was time, God bless".
The next morning, before I even got out of bed, I immediately had this feeling like the world had completely turned upside down.
It may seem strange for some people, to grieve over this man. But you see, he is the reason that my parents are married. Without that I would not exist. My husband would not exist, and neither would our beautiful children. Thousands of people can say the same thing. Even if that was the only thing he had accomplished (spoiler alert: it's not!), it would be a tremendous legacy.
I have never known a time when he wasn't here. Suddenly, on that morning, the world felt different because of his absence.
I had been working on a different post this weekend and decided to do some writing. I sat down and played a TED talk video that I was basing it on. It is an inspiring video about a man who documented the democratic elections in Ghana. As I watched and listened to this man's story again, I became overwhelmed with emotion. It wasn't just the story (I had watched the video several times already), but it was this intense feeling of empathy and longing; of love for another human being, and the common human experience. I felt his pain, his triumph, his heart, I understood him, not just intellectually, but as if he WERE me.
When I was a little girl, I used to have experiences where I would just start crying for no reason. Or I would see something that made me sad, like a lost pet or a friend's parents getting divorced, and I would dissolve into sobs for an hour, a kind of grief that I couldn't explain. Once when I woke up crying in the middle of the night, my Mother told me, "you are feeling the heart of God, he is sharing his heart with you."
Not since I was a little girl have I experienced it, until now. That's what I felt when I watched the video. I can't help but think that the recent events, perhaps Father Moon's spirit, has opened up that child like part of me, that deep connection to the Divine that I learned to suppress as an adolescent and adult.
For the first time I see it as a gift, that I can love people deeply and see them from God's viewpoint, even though it is also painful.
The past week has been a mix of emotions. While many people have been sharing wonderful and inspiring stories, it is hard to avoid the negative comments that we all expected. I was starting to get really sad, reading the comments that people were posting at the ends of articles about the passing, and even Facebook posts from people who I have called friends, openly mocking a dying man. I felt deep pain, and struggled to forgive them for the words that I found hurtful and disrespectful.
Rev. Moon's daughter, In Jin Moon, gave a speech this past week to members while updating people on her father's health. In it she talked about her own struggles as a child to accept her father and she recounted an incident where she asked her mother, "How do we know? How do we know if he is a Messiah?" and Mother responded, "It is not your belief that makes him who he is, it is God that anoints. It is God that chooses"
In the end, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it only matters what God thinks. My heart for people, a deep love for others, the ability to understand "real" love and not just some Hollywood version, the wonderful family I had growing up, a supportive faith community, my amazing husband, my precious children, are all gifts that Father Moon has given me.
To those that still hold some animosity towards Rev. Moon, let this be a release for you, because as the Buddha says, "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned."
It is time to put on our thick skins, and embrace those that hurt us, the way Father did to the man who once imprisoned him. To love our enemies as Jesus taught, and maybe to realize that there really are no enemies, only our brothers and sisters, only ourselves, all part of the same human family, the same Heavenly Parent.
I love you all, may God be with you and your family.
Followers had been offering prayers and conditions for his health, ever since he entered the hospital almost two weeks ago. Many prayed for a miracle, but it is God's will be done, not ours.
When I first got the news, I lit a candle and said a short prayer for a safe journey. The whole day my facebook page was full of pictures and stories, statements of gratitude and love. I didn't have much time to reflect though while attending to the kids and getting ready for the start of the school week today. Later in the day I got a call from a reporter and was interviewed for the local paper. I got a little choked up at one point when I was telling her some of the stories and memories I had of seeing Father, but it still didn't really sink in. I was in an intilectual place of, "well we knew he was sick, he lived a long life, it was time, God bless".
(You can read the article here)
The next morning, before I even got out of bed, I immediately had this feeling like the world had completely turned upside down.
It may seem strange for some people, to grieve over this man. But you see, he is the reason that my parents are married. Without that I would not exist. My husband would not exist, and neither would our beautiful children. Thousands of people can say the same thing. Even if that was the only thing he had accomplished (spoiler alert: it's not!), it would be a tremendous legacy.
I have never known a time when he wasn't here. Suddenly, on that morning, the world felt different because of his absence.
I had been working on a different post this weekend and decided to do some writing. I sat down and played a TED talk video that I was basing it on. It is an inspiring video about a man who documented the democratic elections in Ghana. As I watched and listened to this man's story again, I became overwhelmed with emotion. It wasn't just the story (I had watched the video several times already), but it was this intense feeling of empathy and longing; of love for another human being, and the common human experience. I felt his pain, his triumph, his heart, I understood him, not just intellectually, but as if he WERE me.
When I was a little girl, I used to have experiences where I would just start crying for no reason. Or I would see something that made me sad, like a lost pet or a friend's parents getting divorced, and I would dissolve into sobs for an hour, a kind of grief that I couldn't explain. Once when I woke up crying in the middle of the night, my Mother told me, "you are feeling the heart of God, he is sharing his heart with you."
Not since I was a little girl have I experienced it, until now. That's what I felt when I watched the video. I can't help but think that the recent events, perhaps Father Moon's spirit, has opened up that child like part of me, that deep connection to the Divine that I learned to suppress as an adolescent and adult.
For the first time I see it as a gift, that I can love people deeply and see them from God's viewpoint, even though it is also painful.
The past week has been a mix of emotions. While many people have been sharing wonderful and inspiring stories, it is hard to avoid the negative comments that we all expected. I was starting to get really sad, reading the comments that people were posting at the ends of articles about the passing, and even Facebook posts from people who I have called friends, openly mocking a dying man. I felt deep pain, and struggled to forgive them for the words that I found hurtful and disrespectful.
Rev. Moon's daughter, In Jin Moon, gave a speech this past week to members while updating people on her father's health. In it she talked about her own struggles as a child to accept her father and she recounted an incident where she asked her mother, "How do we know? How do we know if he is a Messiah?" and Mother responded, "It is not your belief that makes him who he is, it is God that anoints. It is God that chooses"
In the end, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it only matters what God thinks. My heart for people, a deep love for others, the ability to understand "real" love and not just some Hollywood version, the wonderful family I had growing up, a supportive faith community, my amazing husband, my precious children, are all gifts that Father Moon has given me.
To those that still hold some animosity towards Rev. Moon, let this be a release for you, because as the Buddha says, "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned."
It is time to put on our thick skins, and embrace those that hurt us, the way Father did to the man who once imprisoned him. To love our enemies as Jesus taught, and maybe to realize that there really are no enemies, only our brothers and sisters, only ourselves, all part of the same human family, the same Heavenly Parent.
I love you all, may God be with you and your family.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
The BIG Story
I picked up a book at the library a few weeks ago called "Spiritual Parenting". The concept peeked my interest because I often think about how to instill spiritual values in my children. The author, a Christian, talks in the beginning about how most Christian children are educated about the Bible when they are young. Most of the time they hear bits and pieces, random stories (Noah's arc, Moses, the birth of Jesus, etc.), and not necessarily in chronological order. She said that while these stories have value on their own, the real power of the Bible is the BIG story. When all these stories are put into context, they become part of a much grander story, the work of God throughout the generations to bring about a savior to the earth. Jesus becomes the hero in an epic tale of good vs. evil, and his promise to return again helps them see where they fit into the big picture.
My first thought when reading this was, "wow, that actually IS how I was taught about the Bible." Thank you, Providence of Restoration*.
Second, I thought about what it means to have a BIG Story as an individual. We often cannot see how our present moment is shaping our future, how the things we are going through, or investing in now, may manifest down the road. We often don't notice in the moment how God is working, or how the Universe is guiding us behind the scenes.
When I look back at specific times in my life, my relationship with my husband for example, I can see how God worked to prepare us for each other, how he was orchestrating everything way before we knew. Why should now be any different? We cannot see it just yet because we are too close, but that's what faith is. We don't know how things will turn out, but faith is trusting that God is always there watching over us. Faith is trusting in the process and knowing that we are a part of something much bigger than ourselves.
What is your BIG Story? Hint: it's not over yet!
*Providence of Restoration: refers to the Chapters in the Divine Principle that talk about how God worked to restore humanity after the fall of Adam and Eve to bring about a foundation for Jesus to come to earth. All of the stories in the Bible play a role in laying the foundation for the Messiah.
My first thought when reading this was, "wow, that actually IS how I was taught about the Bible." Thank you, Providence of Restoration*.
Second, I thought about what it means to have a BIG Story as an individual. We often cannot see how our present moment is shaping our future, how the things we are going through, or investing in now, may manifest down the road. We often don't notice in the moment how God is working, or how the Universe is guiding us behind the scenes.
When I look back at specific times in my life, my relationship with my husband for example, I can see how God worked to prepare us for each other, how he was orchestrating everything way before we knew. Why should now be any different? We cannot see it just yet because we are too close, but that's what faith is. We don't know how things will turn out, but faith is trusting that God is always there watching over us. Faith is trusting in the process and knowing that we are a part of something much bigger than ourselves.
What is your BIG Story? Hint: it's not over yet!
*Providence of Restoration: refers to the Chapters in the Divine Principle that talk about how God worked to restore humanity after the fall of Adam and Eve to bring about a foundation for Jesus to come to earth. All of the stories in the Bible play a role in laying the foundation for the Messiah.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
write and write truly
There is a famous letter from Ernest Hemingway to F. Scott Fitzgerald in which Hemingway gives his opinion of Fitzgerald's latest book. You may get a kick out of reading it in its entirety even if you are not an American Literature buff: Letters of Note: Forget your personal tragedy
It's a marvelous example of the character we've all come to love (or hate), and some good advice to writers. He half praises, half chastises Fitzgerald. I was never a huge Hemingway fan, and it's funny because now that I'm older I feel like it's when you don't get along with someone because you are too much alike. He's like the Id that I try to control or push down into my subconscious. Hemingway was known for his brutal honesty, in life and in his writing. In the letter he tells Fitzgerald, "Scott for gods sake write and write truly no matter who or what it hurts but do not make these silly compromises."
Yesterday I wrote a little bit about my faith. I've actually had it written for months and was waiting for the right time to post it. My faith is something that I have not always been forthcoming about. Growing up I sometimes took great pains to hide it. The history of the Unification Church is riddled with very real stories of persecution. The first generation (my parents' generation), had to endure being ostracized from their families, maligned by society, and many experienced dangerous violations of civil rights at the hands of so-called de-programmers. While some of these things still exist to an extent (deprogramming is currently a serious problem in Japan), in the USA today, they are largely gone. Still, growing up, the fear of what might happen if I shared my faith kept me from ever opening up completely.
Children who were born into this movement are in a strange middle ground. You feel a connection to religious people because of your own faith and love for God, yet, you are not accepted, and have been most heavily persecuted by these same people, mostly main stream Christianity. Equally, there is a pull towards the secular, "spiritual but not religious", faction because they are less likely to judge. The motto is, "hey, whatever works for you". But at the same time, you feel out of place simply because you ARE religious, and would align yourself with Christians or other people of faith on certain issues.
I could easily make this blog appeal to just unificationists by using exclusive terminology, or conversely, be "ambiguously spiritual" so as not to offend anyone. But that's not how the world works. No one lives in a bubble, people of different faiths, or people with no faith (whether they like it or not), have to interact with each other. Unless you live in a commune, shut off from the outside world, we are all in this together. I believe if we started expressing our beliefs freely instead of refusing to talk about them for fear of causing persecution or offense, we may foster not just mere tolerance, but compassion, respect, maybe even love.
My purpose is not to proselytize, and I certainly don't represent the Unification church or speak for all Unificationists. I am merely sharing a part of who I am. It's strange, and different, but it's where I found God. It's in a very literal sense, the reason I am alive, and the reason that I now have my own beautiful family.
In my life, and in my writing, I find that the most fulfilling and honorable path is to follow the advice of Hemingway, truth and honesty. Not in a self-righteous sense, true honesty in my opinion actually takes a tremendous amount of humility and courage. That little nagging feeling, that little touch of fear about sharing something that is so dear to me. When I get that, I know I'm on the right track. Whenever I've followed that instinct, as hard as it is, I've gotten the best result. And anyway, it's not just about what other people think, it's about my own growth too, as a writer and as a human being. It's a small step in the direction of presenting myself to the world in a way that I can be proud of. Like it or hate it, but at least you can judge based on the truth and not merely a perceived idea or two dimensional picture. That's living with integrity and freedom, because even if people don't like it, you know that you are being true to yourself. The people that "get it" will encourage you, and the others won't matter so much.
There is another more famous quote by Hemingway that says,
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
There is no typewriter involved, but this is me bleeding.
It's a marvelous example of the character we've all come to love (or hate), and some good advice to writers. He half praises, half chastises Fitzgerald. I was never a huge Hemingway fan, and it's funny because now that I'm older I feel like it's when you don't get along with someone because you are too much alike. He's like the Id that I try to control or push down into my subconscious. Hemingway was known for his brutal honesty, in life and in his writing. In the letter he tells Fitzgerald, "Scott for gods sake write and write truly no matter who or what it hurts but do not make these silly compromises."
Yesterday I wrote a little bit about my faith. I've actually had it written for months and was waiting for the right time to post it. My faith is something that I have not always been forthcoming about. Growing up I sometimes took great pains to hide it. The history of the Unification Church is riddled with very real stories of persecution. The first generation (my parents' generation), had to endure being ostracized from their families, maligned by society, and many experienced dangerous violations of civil rights at the hands of so-called de-programmers. While some of these things still exist to an extent (deprogramming is currently a serious problem in Japan), in the USA today, they are largely gone. Still, growing up, the fear of what might happen if I shared my faith kept me from ever opening up completely.
Children who were born into this movement are in a strange middle ground. You feel a connection to religious people because of your own faith and love for God, yet, you are not accepted, and have been most heavily persecuted by these same people, mostly main stream Christianity. Equally, there is a pull towards the secular, "spiritual but not religious", faction because they are less likely to judge. The motto is, "hey, whatever works for you". But at the same time, you feel out of place simply because you ARE religious, and would align yourself with Christians or other people of faith on certain issues.
I could easily make this blog appeal to just unificationists by using exclusive terminology, or conversely, be "ambiguously spiritual" so as not to offend anyone. But that's not how the world works. No one lives in a bubble, people of different faiths, or people with no faith (whether they like it or not), have to interact with each other. Unless you live in a commune, shut off from the outside world, we are all in this together. I believe if we started expressing our beliefs freely instead of refusing to talk about them for fear of causing persecution or offense, we may foster not just mere tolerance, but compassion, respect, maybe even love.
My purpose is not to proselytize, and I certainly don't represent the Unification church or speak for all Unificationists. I am merely sharing a part of who I am. It's strange, and different, but it's where I found God. It's in a very literal sense, the reason I am alive, and the reason that I now have my own beautiful family.
In my life, and in my writing, I find that the most fulfilling and honorable path is to follow the advice of Hemingway, truth and honesty. Not in a self-righteous sense, true honesty in my opinion actually takes a tremendous amount of humility and courage. That little nagging feeling, that little touch of fear about sharing something that is so dear to me. When I get that, I know I'm on the right track. Whenever I've followed that instinct, as hard as it is, I've gotten the best result. And anyway, it's not just about what other people think, it's about my own growth too, as a writer and as a human being. It's a small step in the direction of presenting myself to the world in a way that I can be proud of. Like it or hate it, but at least you can judge based on the truth and not merely a perceived idea or two dimensional picture. That's living with integrity and freedom, because even if people don't like it, you know that you are being true to yourself. The people that "get it" will encourage you, and the others won't matter so much.
There is another more famous quote by Hemingway that says,
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
There is no typewriter involved, but this is me bleeding.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
that still small voice that people won't listen to...
"The impulse of the original mind, which everyone possesses, is to abhor evil and exalt goodness." - Introduction to The Divine Principle*
I used to be really concerned with making the "right" decision. Perhaps it is the training I received while on the debate team in high school, but I like to research things, especially if I am embarking on something new. When I am making a big decision (and sometimes not so big a decision), I get at it form every possible angle. In short, I have a tendency to over evaluate.
For example, my husband and I recently purchased a new car. While it only took a few hours to actually do a test drive and sign the papers, I spent about a month before hand doing research. I consulted consumer reports, expert websites, I got advice from friends and family. I compared SUVs to Minivans. I did a price and reliability comparison between the top five brands. Followed by a hundred choruses of "well what do you think?", to my husband. And I did it over and over again. Always second guessing, worrying about making the right decision. We could have gone on like this for another month if our current car hadn't broken down again and forced us to pull the trigger. In that frantic state, all the head spinning research went out the window and we made a quick decision. 24 hours later we were driving around in a new minivan with plenty of room for our two boys and the books full of research it took to get us there. While it's good to be prepared, it's also exhausting! At some point, you have to get off the endless information treadmill and make your choice. We ended up with what we had originally wanted before I made a personal crusade out of vetting it. It makes you wonder if all that work was really worth it.
When it came down to it, it wasn't the hundreds of hours spent on research that helped make a choice. It was simply listening to our own intuition. After all, there is no full proof "right" decision when it comes to choosing a car. Otherwise everyone would be driving around in the same model. Everyone has different needs, different values, and different ideas about what constitutes a bargain. It can only ever be the "right" decision for YOU.
Too often we think that the "right" decisions apply to bigger issues in life as well.
When I was deciding whether or not to go to College or STF*, I prayed to God for guidance. "Please God, help me to make the right decision." There it is again, that tricky little word, "right". I was sincere in my prayer. I really did want to make the right decision. I knew that I was leaning one way, but I was fully prepared to do whatever God wanted me to. That's when I heard God speak to me. It wasn't a booming, clouds parting, kind of voice. No, it was soft. In fact, it was hardly a voice at all. I only call it that because I lack any other way to describe it. It wasn't a sound audible by the ears, but it rose up inside of me. A complete sense of knowing. It said (or it was) "Whatever you choose is the right decision as long as you take responsibility for it. I want what you want, and I will always be with you."
Sure, sometimes God asks people to do things that they really don't want to, but most of the time he is like any other Father. He just wants his kids to be happy. And even if you make the "wrong" decision, and go down a path that you didn't foresee, it doesn't mean you've failed. "I will always be with you." No matter what. If you can learn from the experience and grow, then God has already turned it into a victory.
We use the term "original mind"*, but we seldom actually exercise the muscle. The Divine Principle says that it is in all of us. It is where God can communicate freely. It is there. Waiting. All the time. We merely need to tune our ears inward and listen.
It's nice to feel like other's agree with our choices. Especially if these "others" have some sort of degree or expertise. In the end though, you are the one who has to live with it.
So, what if you valued your own opinion as much as everyone else's?
What if, it's not so much about "right" and "wrong", but about being able to take responsibility for the choices that you make?
What if, you already have all of the answers you need? You just have to listen to the whispers of your original mind.
In the immortal words of Jiminy Cricket: "always let your conscience be your guide."
*For my non-Unificationist readers:
- The Divine Principle (DP): the teachings of Rev. Sun Myung Moon, the main theological text book of the Unification Church (UC).
- STF: Special Task Force. A program designed as a leadership training, and spiritual mission for high school graduates or college age students of the UC. The program has been revamped and is now called "Generation Peace Academy" (GPA)
- Original Mind: The original mind, or original nature is the one that existed in human beings before the fall of man. The DP teaches that humans struggle within themselves between their original God given nature, and the "satanic" or fallen nature that was acquired and inherited as a result of the fall.
I used to be really concerned with making the "right" decision. Perhaps it is the training I received while on the debate team in high school, but I like to research things, especially if I am embarking on something new. When I am making a big decision (and sometimes not so big a decision), I get at it form every possible angle. In short, I have a tendency to over evaluate.
For example, my husband and I recently purchased a new car. While it only took a few hours to actually do a test drive and sign the papers, I spent about a month before hand doing research. I consulted consumer reports, expert websites, I got advice from friends and family. I compared SUVs to Minivans. I did a price and reliability comparison between the top five brands. Followed by a hundred choruses of "well what do you think?", to my husband. And I did it over and over again. Always second guessing, worrying about making the right decision. We could have gone on like this for another month if our current car hadn't broken down again and forced us to pull the trigger. In that frantic state, all the head spinning research went out the window and we made a quick decision. 24 hours later we were driving around in a new minivan with plenty of room for our two boys and the books full of research it took to get us there. While it's good to be prepared, it's also exhausting! At some point, you have to get off the endless information treadmill and make your choice. We ended up with what we had originally wanted before I made a personal crusade out of vetting it. It makes you wonder if all that work was really worth it.
When it came down to it, it wasn't the hundreds of hours spent on research that helped make a choice. It was simply listening to our own intuition. After all, there is no full proof "right" decision when it comes to choosing a car. Otherwise everyone would be driving around in the same model. Everyone has different needs, different values, and different ideas about what constitutes a bargain. It can only ever be the "right" decision for YOU.
Too often we think that the "right" decisions apply to bigger issues in life as well.
When I was deciding whether or not to go to College or STF*, I prayed to God for guidance. "Please God, help me to make the right decision." There it is again, that tricky little word, "right". I was sincere in my prayer. I really did want to make the right decision. I knew that I was leaning one way, but I was fully prepared to do whatever God wanted me to. That's when I heard God speak to me. It wasn't a booming, clouds parting, kind of voice. No, it was soft. In fact, it was hardly a voice at all. I only call it that because I lack any other way to describe it. It wasn't a sound audible by the ears, but it rose up inside of me. A complete sense of knowing. It said (or it was) "Whatever you choose is the right decision as long as you take responsibility for it. I want what you want, and I will always be with you."
Sure, sometimes God asks people to do things that they really don't want to, but most of the time he is like any other Father. He just wants his kids to be happy. And even if you make the "wrong" decision, and go down a path that you didn't foresee, it doesn't mean you've failed. "I will always be with you." No matter what. If you can learn from the experience and grow, then God has already turned it into a victory.
We use the term "original mind"*, but we seldom actually exercise the muscle. The Divine Principle says that it is in all of us. It is where God can communicate freely. It is there. Waiting. All the time. We merely need to tune our ears inward and listen.
It's nice to feel like other's agree with our choices. Especially if these "others" have some sort of degree or expertise. In the end though, you are the one who has to live with it.
So, what if you valued your own opinion as much as everyone else's?
What if, it's not so much about "right" and "wrong", but about being able to take responsibility for the choices that you make?
What if, you already have all of the answers you need? You just have to listen to the whispers of your original mind.
In the immortal words of Jiminy Cricket: "always let your conscience be your guide."
*For my non-Unificationist readers:
- The Divine Principle (DP): the teachings of Rev. Sun Myung Moon, the main theological text book of the Unification Church (UC).
- STF: Special Task Force. A program designed as a leadership training, and spiritual mission for high school graduates or college age students of the UC. The program has been revamped and is now called "Generation Peace Academy" (GPA)
- Original Mind: The original mind, or original nature is the one that existed in human beings before the fall of man. The DP teaches that humans struggle within themselves between their original God given nature, and the "satanic" or fallen nature that was acquired and inherited as a result of the fall.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Mother God
"God is the harmonious union of masculinity and femininity." -Divine Principle, Chapter 1, Section 1
The Ancient Greek philosopher Plato, wrote that human beings were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. They were both male and female. Zues, fearing that humans were too powerful, split them in two. Incomplete, humans were from then on destined to roam the earth in search of their other half that would make them whole. This is where the term "soul-mates" originates.
When I think about the Dual Characteristics of God as explained in the DP, I sometimes picture this primordial creature with two faces lumbering around up in heaven. It's hard to get your head around, so to speak. Especially since all the language (even in the DP) refers to God as "he" or "our father".
As a woman, to know that my likeness is not merely a symbol of God, but an actual image, that there is complete divinity in my form. It makes me feel like, well...a Goddess.
In a Western society, it's hard to grasp the concept of a female God, and even harder to imagine a being that is both male and female. The more I experience and study, the more I think that perhaps our language of male and female is limiting in and of itself. These are things that no one really knows until we're on the other side. Perhaps not even then.
To talk about what it looks like doesn't really matter though. The more important part, is how we acknowledge the feminine side of God here and now.
These are some of the ways that I think I have experienced God The Mother:
In Nature
It's called "Mother" Earth after all. The beauty of the spring flowers; the expanse of the Grand Canyon; The warmth of the sun and the softness of the grass; The way the ground can produce food to nurture and feed all the animals of creation.
In Female Relationships
We feel the love of Mother God through our own mothers, grandmothers, friends, even strangers. Isn't it funny how you can feel instantly connected to someone who is a complete stranger as long as you can identify with their situation? I love meeting other moms at the park or the grocery store. They give me a knowing look when my kids start acting up, or I'm having a hard time folding up the stroller. They've been there. Or how you root for the heroin in any movie or drama who is fighting against injustice. A lone female voice in a man's world. You know her because she is you too.
Childbirth
No explanation necessary for the mothers...and for everyone else, no explanation will do it justice.
Music
Like when your mother would sing you a lullaby. Music stirs up the soul. It is an outward expression of things that cannot simply be expressed in words. Love, heartache, longing, ambition, serenity, all in a tangible form.
What are some ways that you experience or express Mother God?
The Ancient Greek philosopher Plato, wrote that human beings were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. They were both male and female. Zues, fearing that humans were too powerful, split them in two. Incomplete, humans were from then on destined to roam the earth in search of their other half that would make them whole. This is where the term "soul-mates" originates.
When I think about the Dual Characteristics of God as explained in the DP, I sometimes picture this primordial creature with two faces lumbering around up in heaven. It's hard to get your head around, so to speak. Especially since all the language (even in the DP) refers to God as "he" or "our father".
As a woman, to know that my likeness is not merely a symbol of God, but an actual image, that there is complete divinity in my form. It makes me feel like, well...a Goddess.
In a Western society, it's hard to grasp the concept of a female God, and even harder to imagine a being that is both male and female. The more I experience and study, the more I think that perhaps our language of male and female is limiting in and of itself. These are things that no one really knows until we're on the other side. Perhaps not even then.
To talk about what it looks like doesn't really matter though. The more important part, is how we acknowledge the feminine side of God here and now.
These are some of the ways that I think I have experienced God The Mother:
In Nature
It's called "Mother" Earth after all. The beauty of the spring flowers; the expanse of the Grand Canyon; The warmth of the sun and the softness of the grass; The way the ground can produce food to nurture and feed all the animals of creation.
In Female Relationships
We feel the love of Mother God through our own mothers, grandmothers, friends, even strangers. Isn't it funny how you can feel instantly connected to someone who is a complete stranger as long as you can identify with their situation? I love meeting other moms at the park or the grocery store. They give me a knowing look when my kids start acting up, or I'm having a hard time folding up the stroller. They've been there. Or how you root for the heroin in any movie or drama who is fighting against injustice. A lone female voice in a man's world. You know her because she is you too.
Childbirth
No explanation necessary for the mothers...and for everyone else, no explanation will do it justice.
Music
Like when your mother would sing you a lullaby. Music stirs up the soul. It is an outward expression of things that cannot simply be expressed in words. Love, heartache, longing, ambition, serenity, all in a tangible form.
What are some ways that you experience or express Mother God?
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