My Second Language

When I was pregnant, I read that for many women it's difficult to transition between the roles of "Mommy" and "wife". Husbands often become jealous or feel left out because their wife spends all of her time with the baby. This makes sense. A baby is so all consuming, and a mom invests so much, often my baby is the only other person I see all day. So it's understandable that sometimes it's hard to turn off the "Mommy" switch. I get all of this, and foresaw this inevitable struggle long before Miles was born. What I didn't know however, was exactly how it would manifest.
Sometimes when I am alone with my husband after the baby goes to sleep, I get this uncontrollable urge to blow on his tummy. I often catch myself start to make little noises that Miles always laughs at or tickle him where I know that Miles is ticklish.
It's sort of like speaking two different languages. I took a French class in college after having four years of Spanish in high school and when the teacher would ask me a question in French I would, without thinking, answer her in Spanish. So after a day with Miles, where my interactions consist of goos, ahhs, dadas, funny faces, and silly songs, for a few seconds I forget how to relate to my husband as an adult and am trying to communicate with him in "baby language."
I sort of confessed this to him last night and we both just laughed. It's true that when you have a baby it changes your life, and the world really does revolve around them. You get really good at the job of Mommy really fast that you have to relearn how to just be you.
I'm sure with time, and practice, I will get better at speaking two languages. But even though it was my second, I think I will forever be the most fluent in "Mommy".