pins and needles

I used to be terrified of needles. I couldn't even watch someone getting a shot or having blood drawn on TV. The one and only time I donated blood was my senior year of high school. I was so pale and anxious that the nurses kept giving me extra cookies and wouldn't let me get up from the chair for fear of me fainting.

Did you ever see the movie Pearl Harbor? It's full of graphic war scenes, but the part I absolutely could not watch was when they needed blood and proceeded to stick themselves and drain it into coke bottles. :::shudder:::

Flash forward, last night I was laying face down with over 20 needles in my back, neck, and legs, having an acupuncture treatment.

I basically got over my fear of needles during my first pregnancy. The frequency certainly helped, having to face the fear over and over again eventually diminishes it's hold on you. But it was also the thought that I was doing it for a greater purpose. After all, I was going to go through labor, if I couldn't handle a little needle, what would become of me when it came time to deliver a baby? So I gritted my teeth and put on my big girl shoes.

Laying on a table with tiny needles sticking out of my body would at one point send me into a panic attack...I'll be honest, I have to consciously remind myself to breathe in the beginning when the acupuncturist starts putting the needles in, but after I cross that initial threshold, I let myself relax. I sometimes even doze off.

It's funny how something that used to terrify, is now a source of healing. It encourages me that though the circumstances of the moment might be less than perfect, in the long run, it might be the very thing we need.