Healing me

I've been seeing a chiropractor twice a week ever since my car accident in June. The thing about Chiropractic care is that it's slow. It takes months, sometimes years to repair damage. Whether it's years of neglect or one massive moment of trauma, there is no quick fix. Healing takes time.

There's this poster in his office that says, "How you feel is not a good indicator of wellness." Every couple of months they pull out their fancy instruments and do a nerve scan to see which nerves are being pinched by the misalignment in my neck and spine. It's been awhile since I have had any major symptoms--I can sleep without pain, pick up the kids, and lug the trash out to the curb--but that damn nerve scan still shows up red in several places, meaning that there is still a long road of healing ahead. We don't always know the extent of our injury or hurt until we start trying to do something about it. Once the healing process begins, the more you uncover.

It's the same with emotional, or spiritual healing. We have to check in with ourselves every so often, and uncover those hidden hurts so that they don't become BIG hurts. And when they do, well, it just takes time.

We don't go to the dentist only when our tooth starts hurting, we check in every six months, and we brush our teeth every day. So why wait until life throws us a curve ball to examine our lives?

The past few weeks have been stressful, and I do my best to find the lessons in all of the challenges, but some days it just feels so heavy that all I want to do is hide under the covers and escape. I want to wait there until someone comes along to fix it all, to give me an answer to, "will I have to move?", "Can we afford daycare this month?", "Is everything going to be okay?"

And yet...

As much as I would love to have someone swoop in and fix it all, I am the one who is responsible for my own healing. Sure, I can check in, but I have to do my part, brush those teeth every day. If I stay and wait for someone else, then I have no power. If I think that I need an apology or an explanation, it only keeps me stuck there under those blankets. We are not always responsible for what happens to us, but we are responsible for how we react to it. We are responsible for our own healing.

Healing takes time, it takes consistency, and it takes honesty.