write and write truly

There is a famous letter from Ernest Hemingway to F. Scott Fitzgerald in which Hemingway gives his opinion of Fitzgerald's latest book. You may get a kick out of reading it in its entirety even if you are not an American Literature buff: Letters of Note: Forget your personal tragedy

It's a marvelous example of the character we've all come to love (or hate), and some good advice to writers. He half praises, half chastises Fitzgerald. I was never a huge Hemingway fan, and it's funny because now that I'm older I feel like it's when you don't get along with someone because you are too much alike. He's like the Id that I try to control or push down into my subconscious. Hemingway was known for his brutal honesty, in life and in his writing. In the letter he tells Fitzgerald, "Scott for gods sake write and write truly no matter who or what it hurts but do not make these silly compromises."

Yesterday I wrote a little bit about my faith. I've actually had it written for months and was waiting for the right time to post it. My faith is something that I have not always been forthcoming about. Growing up I sometimes took great pains to hide it. The history of the Unification Church is riddled with very real stories of persecution. The first generation (my parents' generation), had to endure being ostracized from their families, maligned by society, and many experienced dangerous violations of civil rights at the hands of so-called de-programmers. While some of these things still exist to an extent (deprogramming is currently a serious problem in Japan), in the USA today, they are largely gone. Still, growing up, the fear of what might happen if I shared my faith kept me from ever opening up completely.

Children who were born into this movement are in a strange middle ground. You feel a connection to religious people because of your own faith and love for God, yet, you are not accepted, and have been most heavily persecuted by these same people, mostly main stream Christianity. Equally, there is a pull towards the secular, "spiritual but not religious", faction because they are less likely to judge. The motto is, "hey, whatever works for you". But at the same time, you feel out of place simply because you ARE religious, and would align yourself with Christians or other people of faith on certain issues.

I could easily make this blog appeal to just unificationists by using exclusive terminology, or conversely, be "ambiguously spiritual" so as not to offend anyone. But that's not how the world works. No one lives in a bubble, people of different faiths, or people with no faith (whether they like it or not), have to interact with each other. Unless you live in a commune, shut off from the outside world, we are all in this together. I believe if we started expressing our beliefs freely instead of refusing to talk about them for fear of causing persecution or offense, we may foster not just mere tolerance, but compassion, respect, maybe even love.

My purpose is not to proselytize, and I certainly don't represent the Unification church or speak for all Unificationists. I am merely sharing a part of who I am. It's strange, and different, but it's where I found God. It's in a very literal sense, the reason I am alive, and the reason that I now have my own beautiful family.

In my life, and in my writing, I find that the most fulfilling and honorable path is to follow the advice of Hemingway, truth and honesty. Not in a self-righteous sense, true honesty in my opinion actually takes a tremendous amount of humility and courage. That little nagging feeling, that little touch of fear about sharing something that is so dear to me. When I get that, I know I'm on the right track. Whenever I've followed that instinct, as hard as it is, I've gotten the best result. And anyway, it's not just about what other people think, it's about my own growth too, as a writer and as a human being. It's a small step in the direction of presenting myself to the world in a way that I can be proud of. Like it or hate it, but at least you can judge based on the truth and not merely a perceived idea or two dimensional picture. That's living with integrity and freedom, because even if people don't like it, you know that you are being true to yourself. The people that "get it" will encourage you, and the others won't matter so much.

There is another more famous quote by Hemingway that says,

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

There is no typewriter involved, but this is me bleeding.