Sticks and Stones

That rhyme may comfort a five year old, but I think a truer adage is:

"the pen is mightier than the sword"

Words are important. Emotional wounds cut so much deeper and last long after the physical pain is gone. Sometimes we put it away, thinking it is gone for good, only to find that there is still a splinter left there, and the farther we dig, the deeper down it goes, an endless cavity of hurt and betrayal.

What we say to each other, and how we say it, especially in the age of the internet where everything is recorded, matters.

a friend of mine posted some advice to writers awhile back that went something like this:

before you publish anything:
1. pray
2. read what you have written more than once and ask if what you have said can be interpreted or misunderstood in any way
3. edit
4. ask a trusted person to read it and ask for honest feedback
5. edit
6. pray some more
7. edit, edit, edit!
8. publish at your own risk

(these were not the exact words, I sort of made up my own version of how I remember it, but it's the basic gist.)

Once we put something out there it is no longer just yours. Our words are at the mercy of how others hear them, through the filter of their own experiences, judgments, and uniqueness. Still, we are responsible for whatever we are putting out into the universe. Our words have the power to give great healing and comfort, but also to cause pain and destruction.

You can't please everyone all of the time, and you'd be doomed to make your writing depend on what others thought. But by checking our own motivations we can stand by our words knowing that we have acted with a heart of love and integrity. Then, when criticism comes, we are like a tree that does not break, but sways in the storm.