Yesterday started out with all the makings of a great day. Miles woke up and climbed into our bed more gingerly than usual. He smiled and excitedly told us that he had had a good dream about playing "bad guys" with his best friend, and then proceeded to act it out. Miles had a field trip with his daycare, on a day that he is usually home so it was like a bonus day for me.
Ready to write, rest, and get a little work done around the house.
But then I started feeling the effects of the ever lingering cold I've been fighting. I decided I should take a nap before starting to write. So of course, Skylar decided he would only take 20 minutes for a morning nap. Up again, no writing, no nap. After picking up Miles from the field trip the day only got more exhausting. By bedtime I was ready to snap. I left the place a mess and just went to bed with the boys.
It's actually too perfect. Before all of the circumstances of the day, I had planned to write about a PBS documentary I watched the night before called, "Civilization". It chronicled the history of the great powers of the world and how they shifted over time. It started with 12th century China and went up to 20th century America and modern day. I was struck by how certain empires came to power and then just when they got comfortable and established, the tides started to shift and some other nation would rise up, often from out of the bleakest and most unlikely circumstances. It made me think about how it's easy to look at things in retrospect and see the clear path that leads to either greatness or defeat, but all we can do day by day, is try and learn from whatever past we already have, trust our gut and make an educated guess.
In many ways our lives are like the rise and fall of empires. None of them stays on top forever, everyone gets their turn, but it's not like those that fall are wiped off the map. The people of Imperial China remained and soldiered on, and now things are turning back around again with China emerging as one of the great super-powers of the world. Maybe these are just the natural tides of history, and of life. Sometimes we are on top, and sometimes we are down in the undertow, while we watch our neighbors ride the wave. We spend a lot of time grappling, furiously trying to hold onto that peak, but maybe that's not even possible. Eventually the wave will come down, no matter how hard we fight, bargain, or pray. Perhaps our time would be better spent learning how to land gracefully and prepare ourselves so that we're ready when the next wave comes our way.
So yesterday it felt like I had washed up on shore. Today I'm paddling my way back against the current. We may not be able to control the wave, but we have the choice to get back in the water.
*Note: I don't actually surf except in metaphors
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