They Call it Stormy Monday

It sure is! We woke up to a thunderstorm this morning, and now the lovely cool air is blowing through my open windows.

Miles is at school, Skylar is napping, and I'm enjoying some coffee. These moments of solitude are precious and brief. I sometimes have a hard time deciding how to spend them. Like most people, especially moms, I have a list of things I could and should be doing, but not nearly enough time to do it in. Some days I have enough energy to do the load of laundry, work on some freelance, clean up the kitchen, and do some yoga.

But most days I can only do one, two if I'm lucky. Something always falls by the wayside. And many times, what I really need is a nap, in which case I don't get anything done (not that a nap is a waste of time...oh precious nap time, it's been too long...).

It may not seem like a big deal, but the little choices we make, like how to spend our free time, can add up and effect the whole day.

I know that I feel better when I do some yoga, take a nap, or work on something creative. Yet, sometimes all I want to do is veg out in front of the TV. Cleaning too, even though it's necessary, often becomes busy work for me, a way to avoid the other stuff. It's mindless and easy, just like TV. It doesn't require me to tune into myself and be present.

Why is it so hard to do the things we know are good for us? Why do we have to push ourselves to go to the gym, or work on a project that we're really passionate about?

Maybe it's partly the fear of failure, and partly the comfort of the normal routine. Most people don't live in a constant state of zen, where we are in tune with our bodies and spirit. In order to do the things we know are good for us, like exercise or meditate, it takes work to change our state of mind and being. We have to make a conscious effort to go inward and listen to what our body and our original mind is telling us.

The goal of course, is that if you do this long enough it becomes easier and eventually routine itself. But I have a suspicion that even then it's not the fantasy, magical state we might imagine. Because there is no such thing as arriving, there is no destination, only the journey. There will always be hills to climb and storms to weather, practice just helps us climb faster and reminds us to bring our umbrella.