You have to laugh or you'll cry: episode 1

This is the first installment of what will undoubtedly be an ongoing series called, "you have to laugh or you'll cry!"

This is what happens when I leave the kids unattended in the other room for too long...you know, when I get caught up writing blog posts...

You know something is wrong when it gets too quiet. This is three rolls, or should I say "un-rolls" of paper towels.

This is what three rolls of paper towels looks like folded up:

And then 20 minutes later...

I give up! Mama will be in the bedroom hiding under the covers. Come and get me if the house is burning down.

Douglass, and Dorothy, and Leia, oh my!

After Downton Abbey last night (Maggie Smith was cracking me up, good lord I love that show!) I watched a bit of "The Abolitionists" that came on right after. It's basically a narrated reenactment of the life of Fredrick Douglass and the abolitionist movement pre-civil war. I didn't watch the whole thing, It's a compelling series, but I was getting sleepy, plus I pretty much already know how it ends...

This morning I watched this TED Talk:




and I was reminded of the Fredrick Douglass show last night (I love these little coincidental juxtapositions). I'm not sure if it's an actual quote, it's been awhile since I've read his narrative, probably more of a paraphrase, but this idea kept popping up in my head:

Slavery degrades not just the slave but also the slave owner.

Sexism, objectifying women, violence against women, and the culture that surrounds and perpetuates it, it harms not just the women, but the men too. If a man degrades a woman, he also degrades himself.

Tangled was in heavy rotation in my house for awhile, and now Miles' favorite movie is "Despicable Me", which has not ONE, but THREE, little girl characters, who basically save the day by turning the villain into a hero through love. He also likes Star Wars...but you know, it's a balance...

I may not have little girls to worry about, (at least not yet), but I can raise my sons to be men who will treat women (other people's little girls!) with respect and defend them against the "real bad guys". Girl power is great, but they shouldn't have to fight alone.

This one I know to be an actual quote:

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."
-Frederick Douglass

Grandma Jane

Sometimes when I'm writing, I bounce ideas off my four year old.

He's actually quite helpful, especially since right now I'm working on writing some children's books. He's the perfect guinea pig.

My Grandmother was a teacher and also a writer. I remember receiving long, typed letters from her. She often encouraged me in the pursuit of education and especially writing, since I shared with her that it was something I wanted to do. I remember her giving me very specific advice. I wish I still had them, perhaps they are laying around somewhere in a box at my parents' house. Before she passed she even managed to write a book herself. A family history and genealogy that she dedicated and gifted to all of her grand kids.

I'm not a super spiritual person...that is, I don't have prophetic dreams, or have some sort of magnified other-worldly connection. But I feel like my grandmother is pushing me and guiding me in this endeavor, especially in this one particular story. I think about her all the time lately when I'm writing. I wonder how she might like this story idea, I even have a sort of conversation with her in my head, ask for advice on a word or phrase.

I'm still fairly young as a writer, but I know enough to realize that anything I do creatively is not just me and my own talent, that there is a spiritual component to creativity, whether it's God, or my ancestors, that offer insight, encouragement, or completely work through me. I've felt it before in music, when the song comes so easily and then you step back and say, "wow, did I just write that?" It's when I completely open myself up to let God work through me, instead of just relying on myself, that I am able to do my best work. It's comforting too, to know that I don't have to do it alone.

It may sound weird, but I think any creative person has this experience to some extent whether they realize it or not. Creativity is about tapping into something intangible-- an idea in your head, a vision, an inspiration--and making it substantial. A person's own skill and passion definitely makes a difference, but there is a communing with something outside of yourself...or perhaps inward, yet still invisible, whenever we sit down at the keyboard, or pick up an instrument, or a paint brush. Some people will call it God, or the Universe, or a Muse (any ancient Greeks out there?)

Right now I call it Grandma Jane.

Create

Happy 2013!

I know it's a week late, but the last week has been so busy that it feels like I'm just now being able to get settled in the new year and really reflect on it.

I can't remember the last time I made a new year's resolution. I used to take it very seriously, and as a child I remember feeling genuinely repentant at the end of the year for things I had done or left undone. In my religious faith, the first of the year used to coincide with a religious holiday (now it's counted by the lunar calendar so it happens sometime in February...don't get me started). Every year we would write down our reflections and our repentance, and we would burn all the things we wanted to leave behind and not take with us into the new year. Then, with our new resolutions and goals, we would wait till midnight, and while fireworks and cheers went up around us, we would pray by the fire. The point is to start the new year off with God, in fact, we call the celebration "God's Day". As you can imagine, I was left out of a number of New Years parties growing up...probably to my ultimate benefit.

I remember those last few days of the year as always being very heavy, full of shame, regret, and determination to do better. I don't remember exactly when it happened, but gradually the heavier intense emotions fell away, and I would no longer dwell on the year that had passed, but looked more towards the hope of the future. In fact, it's been several years since I have burned anything in the fire, or even felt the need to. Is this my own arrogance? Surely there are things I can repent for. No, I think it's that I've realized that the day itself doesn't hold the power. When you live consciously, you can make a change at any point in time. You can repent, you can forgive, you can start fresh on any day. No need to wait till the first of the year.

And yet, the end of the year and beginning of a new one is still an important focal point. There is such a unified consciousness around it, much like the spirit of Christmas urges us to be giving, the spirit of New Years invites us to dream and take stock. It's good to check in with ourselves, and New Years is a wonderful reminder to do so.

I don't make resolutions anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't have things I want to accomplish. At the end of December I read a few different blogs that talked about how they do New Year's Resolutions, perhaps you've heard of this trend, but instead of making a long list of specific things to do or not do, you pick one word to focus on. I like that idea, to me it feels much more freeing than constricting myself to a set of rules that I'll probably break by week two. Some common words are "balance", "peace", "abundance", "health". The word that first popped into my head when I was thinking about my own word was, "Create". There are a number of things I want to physically create this year, the books that I'm writing, music, (some cash flow would be nice!), but it's also a reminder that I am always creating my own reality; that I am not merely being tossed on the winds of circumstances. I have the ability to create those circumstances to some degree, and where I don't, I create my reaction to them.

So here's to a creative 2013!

Do you make resolutions? Are you still keeping yours? What will you create this year?